For over a year I have experienced the gift and curse of what many people refer to as the single life. Yes I give it both of those titles for quite a few reasons. To some, I am living the dream of doing what I want whenever, wherever, with whoever. However, when all three of those attempt to align together then more than likely it somehow manages to fail miserably. In other words, the dating life aspect of my single life sucks. And it has been a long time since I was single for this amount of time so there are things I’m learning now that I am a little older. So here is what I have figured out so far.
1. Rebuilding
As a sports blogger I hear about teams going through a rebuilding process all the time. For example, Los Angeles Lakers or the Houston Texans. At one point these teams were doing good then they hit a snag and have not recovered so well in recent memory, so they are taking the time to get back where they once were. Same thing with leaving relationships. The person I was to get in the relationship and maintain it may not be the same person I am today. I need to get back to that foundation of who I am to experience the happiness I did have. But there’s a twist: improvement. A lot of teams rebuild to get back to form, but they also rebuild to improve. The Lakers needed to improve in their supporting cast of Kobe; Texans needed to improve at quarterback. I probably needed to improve at listening. Perhaps it is just improving my employment situation. Humans are imperfect and could always find something to make better about themselves so get it done while it just you and only you.
2. Experience is the best advice.
Anybody that knows me will say that I have a shy nature about myself so meeting women is quite the task for me. So I find myself always asking advice about women from a variety of my friends. The problem is that I’m hard headed and don’t like to listen to shit half the damn time. But also I’m never comfortable applying most of the advice to my own actions. So whenever I’m out and see a woman that’s attractive, if I feel the moment is cool enough to get at her then I proceed. Despite all the digital and social media tools that tell you when to take a piss, there are still some freedoms that we have to allow ourselves. And that is the freedom to live life.
3. Being Alone is only 50% Sanctuary
Time to yourself is essential to anyone. You can accomplish whatever you want to and not have to worry about interruptions. Do what you want in the same manner. Eat all the ice cream, cookies and other benficial crap you want to. Have a peace of mind to yourself. However, there is a such thing as too much of being alone. Make sure you interact with people. don’t be like Will Smith in I Am Legend talking to the damn dog all the time.
4. Big ass ocean
Over this past year, I have probably been on more dates in my life than ever before and talked to more females than ever as well. The saying is true that there are lot of fish in the sea. But it’s a big ass ocean so there are also a lot of damn sharks, piranhas and some crap that should have been thrown back in the water. Once you put yo worm in the water you do not know what you are pulling back out. The biggest misconception about dating is that I’ve found is that most men are the damn sharks and piranhas. But it’s some women out there with some sharp teeth. In lamens terms, I’ve talked to some females that were trifling or just straight up flaky. It doesn’t get better when you throw in the fact dating websites not only widens that ocean but increases your risk to get bitten. Instead just swim around here and there and if the water gets too deep go to another ocean. In other words, don’t drown in your own thirst.
Single life is equally good and bad depending on how you arrived there, but more importantly it depends on you handle it. Just like any situation in life, if we have a sour attitude about single life then of course it’s going to suck. But if you have the attitude that this is an opportunity at being better person and enjoying life then you will be just as happy as the day you find your soul mate or boo thang.
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